Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples
People often ask me to explain emotionally focused therapy. Here is my attempt at it.
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) was developed largely by Canadian psychologist Susan Johnson in the 1980’s. Although EFT has been used in many ways, a primary application is in couples counseling.
Here are some key assumptions of EFT:
That humans form emotional connections with each other via patterns of interaction whereby the emotional experience of one human is perceived by, and has an impact on, another human.
That humans have evolved or been made to put great emphasis on forming and maintaining close and stable emotional connections with other humans. This is known as “attachment.”
That human attachment is a key survival feature of our species. Each of us exists today because our ancestors were successful at forming attachments with other humans.
That attachment feels secure when humans sense that their emotional state is visible to and impactful on other important humans.
That partners in intimate relationships tend to feel fear when sensing their emotional state is invisible or lacking impact on their partner.
That, by contrast, intimate partners tend to feel secure when sensing their emotions are visible and impactful on their partner.
EFT couples therapists such as myself guide partners in identifying their particular relationship emotion cycles and deepen their intimacy and security. Please consider reaching out to me if you and your partner are ready for that journey!